And I thought it wasn’t that cute

So yeah, since the site is a complete wasteland since I came, with the others flourishing because of the K-On! posts, I decided to put my cock aside and go with the grain. So now, instead of the usual episode-by-episode review that I do, I’ll do a non-assuming character evaluation.

Now here’s my grading system:

1 = Poor, Retarded but tolerable

2 = It’s there, but not satisfying; a bit retarded at that

3 = Fair– in other words, I don’t give a damn

4 = Passable, I can bed

5 = I totally would most likely bed, and have hot *^% with.

More than 5 = I will most likely marry, and have 2 or 3 kids from her, kukuku

My basis is as of episode 5. Now, I’m gonna start with the worst characters in my list, going to the best ones, so hold on to your sockets, because I will be secretly (or I’ll just censor, for that matter) swear in this post. For that, I’ll give a unique swear for every character.

Yeah, let the whoring begin!

Character 1: Yui

Even another retard could say that Yui is in fact a true blue retard. Surely, she has the moe looks, but she lacks one important thing necessary for survival: common sense. The light music club could’ve been rocking out since episode 1, if only they didn’t have to make Yui the guitarist. Though, I’ve been corrected in episode 5 after Sawaka-sensei said they’re still off-beat as a group. But still, she’s retarded. Shut up!

I’ll give her -1 point because of her retard-ness.

+1 for guitar skills. I, for one, can’t still play a guitar, but I don’t mind. Though, people who could really play look shiny enough for me. Shiny things rock!

Fine; +1 for the moe looks. I can’t deny that.

+1 because castanets kick ass.

Oh yeah. Yui, “%*&^#$@$%#%@%^%&^*&%%#^$#$”!– I died.

Surely Yui redeemed her self with episode 5, for being able to play decent chords. But that does not count. I already said no.

[Yui obtained 2 points]

She’s there, but the retard-meter still detects something.

But her imouto, I would bed.

Character 2: Mio

I don’t mind sudden Mio fanboys ganging up to troll on me. I guess the only reason why she stirred fandom after episode 1 was because it’s their first time seeing a miko-looking babe playing the bass, with black hair, and oh- because she had the bass’ neck between her jugs in the ending song. Geez. Anyhow, on with the scoring.

+1 with moe looks. Seriously, she was the first character in the series that I looked seriously at, but that changed a few seconds after the other one came.

-1 for not playing the bass in the ending song at all. And she thought she’d get me just because she has the friggin’ guitar between her boobies. Lame! And I’m not trolling at all!

+1 because she does magic in the ending song.

+1 it’s cute when she starts crying in a corner and stuff.

+1 for the left-handed bass. That’s cool.

[Mio obtained 3 points]

Plain.

Character 3: Mugi

Do I even have to explain why Mugi gets higher score than the ho-hum Mio? I mean, those eyebrows’ gotta win all the fights. Randall said “Blonde-hair blue-eyed Japanese girl”, but I don’t care. Anyhow, he digs her too anyway. I don’t get it why there’re only a few that are serious about Mugi-chan. Surely, at least on my stand, she looks tad better than Mio, because I can see that Mio’s features are pretty generic and standard. Have you ever seen an ojou-sama with such elegant eyebrows? I don’t thinks so. I’ll explain the rest in the additional points.

+1 for the absolute moe looks; no arguments there

+1 for those awesome eyebrows. Kinda says “Don’t you just want to cuddle me for the rest of time?”

+1 because she’s the Princess of the highlands

+1 when you meet eyes with her, she instantly flashes a godly smile at you, and if you’re not careful enough, you could burst out right.

+1 because I always find girls who play the piano very sexy. No arguments, you fags.

[Mugi obtained 5 points]

Yeah, take that, plain crackers!

Character 4: Ritsu

Ritsu’s sleeping face is the definition of WIN. I don’t need to explain it. Mio clearly left my mind after she went in the series. I guess I’ve been fond of the energetic-quirky type of girl for the longest time. And hairbands rock jocks, ok? Kinda reminds me of Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bebop; now there’s the first chick that I dug in her 20’s.

+1 because she knows how to break people and crush hopes and dreams

+1 because she knows how to express “I want to bed you” without even saying it

Now there’s a forehead to die for. So serious.

+1 because hairbands kick ass

+1 for that “don’t you just want to marry me” pose

+1 she’s got the punchlines

+1 for pure and raw moe

+1 because she’s BOSS

[Ritsu obtained 7 points]

Ritsu. DO WANT. Come here and let me lavish on you!

Alright I’m gonna stop now.